Monday, February 9, 2009

All Phelps...All the Time

This one gets immediately filed in the AWESOME category.

Check out this story on the party that Phelps not only attended but was the main attraction.

He bet TWO GRAND on a Beirut game (or Beer Pong depending on where you are from)! They were passing around drugs and drug paraphernalia like gift baskets at church! And he laid down a wad of bills on a Beirut game and paid up when he lost. That is amazing. I love how he had bodyguards watching the door and kindly asking people to not take pictures. The second they saw a flash or a cameraphone pop up they should have gone Chris Martin on that ass (from Coldplay...he of the paparazzi-beating mindset).

I am personlaly appalled that a picture from that party made it to the tabloids. I hope for the sake of whomever snapped and sold that picture, they remain anonymous. Because I am betting the payday from the picture isn't worth the beatdown coming their way if they are found out. TREASON!

Phelps was huge when he just had a bazillion gold medals. I wager that he has gained more fans in the average, everyday American demograph than he ever did by swimming the length of the pool. Maybe I'm wrong. But I doubt it on this one.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Phelps' Sponsors Adjust Their Slogans

(pictures courtesy of the Conan O'Brien Show)

Update: Kellogs dropped Phelps as their spokesman.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Phelps to face Johnny Law in S.C.

File this under "Are you F'n kidding me?" According to the NY Post, South Carolina plans to press charges against Phelps for his little puff-puff. This is as lame as it gets. If anyone should be getting in trouble, it's the person who supplied the weed or who owns the bong. It must be a REALLY slow day in S.C., or they just want the press.


It was the worst game I've ever seen the Wiz play, EVER. The lack of hustle/effort was mind-boggling. I guess it makes sense since the Wiz have more important things to do, like go clubbing.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

V Is Coming Back!


Sure I was 7 when it first came out. Sure the lasers that were shot from their guns they used in that show looked like low-budget taser-type effects. But V was awesome. It was perfect. It started with a gigantic opening mini-series that saw some 40 million viewers tune in to watch. It turned into a short-lived TV series that you fought your parents to stay up to see, and it had Donovan, a true original badass.

It is currently being reimagined on ABC, with a pilot ordered up revolving around a a Homeland Security agent (gonna be a female character according to EW...hmmmmmmmm, I wonder if she will be hot).

For all you fans out there who stayed up late to see Donovan and Ham and Julie do battle with Diana and the Visitors, the long wait to see this story back on TV is over.

This better not be a joke.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Outdated Ovie Montage Reel

So here's an incredible collection of Ovie's best hits and goals, and this collection only covers Ovechkin BEFORE we switched to the new red Unis.

- Goal at :40
- Hit at 1:18
- Goal at 1:41 (from knees)
- Goal at 2:38 (deek and shoots from back)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

We've Moved...(sort of)

The writers of Ahern have accepted an offer to do the posts for You can find everything Skins related there.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Daniel Snyder has to love this stat...

The 2 teams in the NFC championship game are 0-3 against the Redskins this year.

Boldly Hoping Where No Hope Has Helped Before, Vol 1

Welcome to the first installment of what should be a highly speculative, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey style of Redskins' offseason coverage. In this edition of Boldly Hoping, let's line up a dream scenario for the draft.

Forget for a moment that Vinny thinks teams should not draft for need. Forget for a moment that Vinny thinks drafting defensive linemen is dumb. Damnit...forget for a moment Vinny is our default-GM. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

What if we were to attack an area in the same manner as we did with receiver in last year's draft? In this case, the line of scrimmage. In our fantasy scenario, we propose a few trades to better our draft position. I would like to see Carlos Rogers come back. I really would. But the rumblings are that he is unhappy with his spot on the defense (presumably behind DeAngelo Hall), and it looks like the money he thinks he should get is about to go to Hall. If the CBA situation comes to a head next year, he loses his unrestricted free agency. This offseason would be a good time for the Skins to get a pretty decent draft pick for him, and the team trading for Rogers could turn that frown upside down with a new long-term contract. Everyone wins.

And what about Randle-El? What would his trade value be? Surely it does not reside in his return abilities. But he is a decent receiver. On a team with a pass-happy offense, he could fill the Wes Welker-type role (albeit as a 3rd receiver). Small, fast, smart, hard to keep up with underneath. It's not that we can't use Randle-El, it is simply there is a MAJOR problem at Redskins Park that needs to be handled during THIS offseason. The team simply feels compelled to start older veterans that are healthy and getting paid. This past season, you wouldn't hear me argue that Devin Thomas was ready to supplant Randle-El in the lineup. But next year, he simply must be given those reps. You can't convince me that Chad Rhinehart couldn't have done the job Pete Kendall did for us on the line. You can't convince me that Stephon Heyer is/was not at least as craptacular as Jansen was all season (when healthy). A youth movement means going with younger guys. Bugel is notorious for his loyalty to the older guys. Now it looks like Kendall could be gone, and what do we really know about Rhinehart?

Rogers will get us our 2nd rounder back I would bet. Randle-El could get us a 4th or 5th rounder I hope. If we traded future picks this offseason, I would like to see them traded to acquire picks in this year's draft (as opposed to veteran players). Assuming we could net a 2nd rounder in this fashion, let's imagine a 1st day with one 1st rounder, two 2nd round picks, and one 3rd round selection. With those picks, here is what i want to see: 1 OT, 2 DE/OLB, 1 OG/C.

From what I am reading, it appears that there will be some pretty decent offensive line depth in the upcoming draft. If that ends up being the case, let's take the best DE/OLB prospect available at #13 overall. A Brian Cushing from USC or Aaron Curry from Wake Forest would be huge for us, since Marcus Washington seems to be on his way out the door. We missed the boat on Shawne Merriman and DeMarcus Ware...who knows if these guys can fill that mold, but I think that should be our goal.

In the 2nd round, we go for the best OL (preferrably Tackle) available. Given the rush of skill players into the draft this year (underclassmen QB, RB, and WR), a decent crop of otherwise first-round worthy offensive linemen are getting pushed into the 2nd round. If we can get someone to start opposite Samuels on Day One, we win.

With our remaining pick(s) in the top 3 rounds, I would love to see us go after a Center and another DE/OLB.

Let's face it, they are going to let Samuels and Fletcher play until their wheels fall off--and probably rightfully so. Jason Taylor has 1 more year with us, perhaps. We need some talent to be able to come in next year and solidify the right side of the offensive line and bolster a linebacking corps that will be heavily relied upon in the pass rush, both from the end (with their hands on the ground), as well from the LB spots.

FOUR impact players on the first day of the draft--at the area where we need it most in 2009? That is Bold Hoping indeed.

We will certainly refine the segment and focus harder on actual events and stategies either employed by the Redskins or woefully neglected by them. Please feel free to add your own thoughts as we have all come to realize, if Vinny can do it, it just can't be that hard.

Devin Thomas: Who to believe?

Jason La Canfora, an "insider" beat writer for the Washington Post had some strong words in his season review of Devin Thomas:

"..he did not do enough to get himself physically and mentally ready to play, and many in the organization wonder if he ever will..."

"Thomas has already talked about the need to get away from football for a while, which, for as little as he played, is alarming."

"If the Redskins had taken Eddie Royal, who fit the mold of the big, target receiver they were seeking..."

"Moss is no longer one of the elite receivers in the game. His size is a detriment and unlike, say Carolina's Steve Smith, he isn't going to beat Cover-2 for deep plays with any sort of regularity"

A few things here. For starts, Eddie Royal is 5'10 and 182 pounds. He is exactly who we do not need. Secondly, Moss is definitely still one of the elite players in the league. When the QB has no time to let a play open up and defending teams only have to worry about stuffing the run and getting to the QB, that greatly reduces Moss's abilities to get down field.

All that aside, just released their own article on Devin Thomas, with quotes from Devin and Coach Zorn which are flat-out opposites to what Jason is reporting:

"I have the offseason to get things right and get ready for next year."

"Devin has been playing faster," Zorn said. "[I’m] feeling good about where he is going and the speed that he is playing with. He’s more confident."

A lot of people, La Canfora included, like to point how later draft picks Eddie Royal and DeShaun Jackson were able to make huge contributions their rookie years. True, but that does mean not Devin Thomas is a bust. He missed most of pre-season with a hamstring injury, which is exactly where the rookies have their time to learn the system, the speed of the NFL, and iron out mistakes. No matter what anyone says, everyone had Devin Thomas as the top WR on their draft board at our pick.

So who do you believe, or Jason LaCanfora?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Early Predictions for Championship Weekend

What else could you ask for? Even if you absolutely hated one or more of the teams playing this weekend, you still had to watch. You had underdogs showing up on the road. You had league-leading defenses lead the way, and league-leading passing offenses show up in bad weather. You had a snowstorm in Pittsburgh, and you had the defending Super Bowl champs on the ropes. Eli Manning, who pushed Kurt Warner out of New York a few years ago (and also won a ring with the Giants), played simply terrible, in part due to the gritty defense of the Eagles. And Kurt Warner, who has been begging and pleading with coaches and general managers for the last 5 years to give him the chance to lead a team to the playoffs is hosting the NFC Championship. Wow.

I watched the whole Titans-Ravens affair. The Titans lost that game. The Ravens defense did their job, and Joe Flacco got just enough first downs to avoid the self-destruction that occurred on the Titan's offensive side of the ball...but the Titans blew it.

As for the game in the snow at Pittsburgh, that punt return by Santonio Holmes restored a belief in the stands that they could win. The early touchdown by Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson was, to me, as shocking as it was masterfully executed. You are not supposed to be able to do that against Pittsburgh's the snow...right off the bat. The reason they won though was their commitment to the run. Feeding Willie Parker to the tune of around 150 yards is exactly the reason why:

I'm picking Pittsburgh over Baltimore in next week's AFC Championship. It is hard to beat a team three times in a single season. It is hard to beat a defense like Baltimore's coming off a crazy controversial call like the one in the last meeting between the two. But at home, under Mike Tomlin, and behind that defense, the Steelers will get back to the big dance. No real need to mention Big Ben--he'll minimize the big mistakes. Look for Flacco to make his first game-deciding miscue of the post-season.

Arizona will be hosting the team that I believe is playing the best ball of all the remaining teams. Sure, they tied the Bengals. Sure, they lost a game to the Skins they really had to have. But Philadelphia has Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, and Andy Reid leading an offense that, when clicking, is as dangerous as any. They have what at the start of the playoffs was the league's 3rd ranked defense. With all due respect to the Cardinals and Kurt Warner, the Eagles will roll to the Super Bowl.

An all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl...the best and worst of what PA has to offer. Let the evacuation of Tampa bay begin.

Portis Hosting Inauguration Ball

For those brave souls staying in town for the Inauguration, CP and Antawn Jamison are hosting an Inauguration party at Union Station. Tickets are still available.

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

NFL's Clinton PORTIS & NBA's Antawn JAMISON Co-Chair The "ALL PRO & ALL STARS" Inaugural Celebration - "The HOPE Meets PROSPERITY Gala"

Friday, January 9, 2009

I Would Like to Thank Jesus on Behalf of the Following Award Winners

You asked for it (well, that one guy did)...the Second Annual All-Ahern Team Awards. Let's get on to handing out the hardware, shall we?

"We're Going Streaking!" Award: Chris Cooley. "Accidentally" posting a picture of yourself naked on your own website is, well, weird. I needn't remind you that this guy is married to a ridiculous hottie, and minus the career-high fumbles had a fairly decent season. But still...Captain Chaos posting a picture of the Sergeant...then again, his wife is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllly hot.

Lumberg Award
: Fred Davis. Yeeeaaaaaaahhhh, just wondering where you are. You know today is not a half day. We started at the regular time. He seems to have redeemed himself to at least some of the coaches as well as some of the defensive players he goes up against in practice. But come on man...all that money and talent and you oversleep on Day 1?

"I Fell Off The Jetway Again Award"
: Vinny Cerrato. THREE receivers with our first three picks? A punter? This guy not only has naked pictures of Dan Snyder, he must have caught him putting his pee-pee in a very, very bad place. There is simply no explanation for how he has held onto his position this long.

"The Price is Wrong, Bitch Award"
: Gilbert Arenas. Seriously? ANOTHER surgery? That you KNEW you needed? And waited to get until the beginning of the season? After you signed a pretty-freaking-close-to-max deal? I am in the tank for my man Gil, but this one even had me speechless. I've taken dumps that made a bigger splash than his presence this season.

Mystery Crumbs in the Peanut Butter Award
: Pacman Jones. You know when someone doesn't clean off the knife before going into or back into the peanut butter jar, and leaves those little mystery crunchies in there, and then when you make a sandwich expecting creamy PB&J, you bite into it and SURPRISE! Well, the Cowgirls keep finding those crumbs with every bite. This guy is amazing. I bet there is a standing rule now in Dallas police departments (or whatever city he is in): If someone gets shot in a nightclub, question Pacman. There is a legit chance he was somehow involved.

"Are You Feeling Stupid Honey? I Know I Am" Award
: Pete Kendall. Where and when, in the many years of training and preparation that most certainly goes into being a professional lineman, do they instill in you the automatic reflex to catch a ball and try and run with it? I know for a fact he still beats himself up about that play, and it sucks, but come're big and fat and there is a reason why you are an INELIGIBLE receiver. Of any play all season, that one was truly what we at the Inquirer call a "Gay Training" moment. The penetration factor was off the charts.

Dan Snyder Award: Jerry Jones. And the master becomes the pupil. He bid against himself to go and get a receiver (Roy Williams) they didn't need or use for the stretch run, gave away crazy high draft picks and stroked the kind of check that forces you to play him regardless of performance or attitude. Awesome. In three of the games Roy played in after he came to Dallas, he caught either zero or one pass. I only bring this up because they could have gotten Pete Kendall cheaper for that kind of production.

"My Other Penis Is a Vagina" Award
: Dan Snyder. He makes more money than almost anyone else in the league. He sticks it to ticketholders in more ways than you can find in a low-budget, no holds barred, pornographic epic saga starring Asian granny amputees and every breed of ferret imaginable. And yet he still figures out a way to lay off 20-30 people. They were already short-handed. Well, this story has a happy ending--the guy whose job it is to raise the price of beer by $2.50 every year got a promotion.

"Was It Over When the Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor" Award
: Donovan McNabb. Regular season NFL games can end in a tie dummy. How do you not know that? He's like the guy in your office who still has no idea that "Reply to All" means when he responds to your meeting request with a ranking of best boobs in the company, EVERYONE sees it.

Russ Grimm has Bad Luck

All-pro Russ Grimm has made the cut to 15 for this year's Hall of Fame class. The 4-7 inductees will be announced on January 31st. Russ was one of the anchors for the "Hogs," and has gained some league-wide notoriety lately with his outstanding coaching in Pittsburgh, and now Arizona where he is the assistant coach and offensive line coach. His name is always in consideration for head coaching jobs, and within the next 3 years I think he'll get it.

All that aside, ask anyone in Skins nation and he is a shoe-in for the Hall. However, given how long it took Art Monk and Darrell Green to get in, I do not like Russ's chances at all, especially when looking at his competition this year. Damn Russ! You should of sat this year out! This year's final 15 are:

- Cris Carter
- Shannon Sharpe
- Bruce Smith
- Derrick Thomas
- Paul Tagliabue
- John Randle
- Richard Dent
- Bob Kuechenberg
- Andre Reed
- Russ Grimm
- Rod Woodson
- Randall McDaniel
- Ralph Wilson (Buffalo Bills owner)
- Dermontti Dawson
- Cortez Kennedy

The line is my guesstimate of who will make it and who will not. Hopefully the folks in Canton, OH will remember how much revenue Skins' fans gave them last year and decide to let Russ in. I'll definitely travel back to Canton for another weekend of shenanigans.

Redskins Draft Time

I personally do not enjoy talking about draft possibilities unless the team in discussion has a top 10 pick or multiple first/second round picks. Too much happens with trading, and the flashy well-known players are gone after the first round. Having said that, I ESPECIALLY am not in the mood to talk about the Skins draft picks since we only have 4 of them: 1st, 3rd, 5th and 6th. Vinny sold the Skins' 3 other regular picks: 2nd round (trade for Jason Taylor), 4th round (trade for Pete Kendall), and 7th round (trade for Erasmus James). In addition, the Skins 6th rounder in 2010 is gone because of the #55 trade.

A lot of the big mock draft sites have the Skins selecting Jason Smith, the OT from Baylor, with the 1st pick. Since we don't have a #2 pick, it is GUARANTEED we will be trading this pick down for hopefully a late #1 and a #2 if not two 2nd round picks. If mock drafts had black X's over our 1st round pick, then I would be more inclined to read on. Otherwise, we might as well be talking about fantasy LPGA. Selecting a single lineman and nothing else in the first 2 and 1/2 rounds leaves the Skins with the same woeful offensive and defensive lines as last year.

Lastly, I am very thankful the NFL playoffs have started, thus ending fantasy football's season. I personally love fantasy football. I just detest how people I don't know feel it's imperative to tell me all about their team. There's always that one guy at every Christmas party I get stuck in conversations with, "If I had started McFadden over Jamal Lewis in week 6 then I would have made the playoffs! And I originally offered a trade week 4 to my friend, Brian, for Cutler, but..." (gun to my head gesture)

Redskins Get Crushed 61-33

Since we are dedicated in providing ALL Redskins news, this just in: The Lady Fliers handle Redskins easily. Starting the game on 25-0 run will do that.

So where do the (Port Clinton) Redskins reside? I had no idea either. I found out they are located in Ohio, near Sandusky (yes, that one that makes car parts more reliable than Ray Zalinski).

So that got me thinking, how many Redskins teams are out there? Quite a few.

Gustine Redskins - (High school 50 miles east of San Jose)
St. John's Redskins - (HS between Phoenix and Albuquerque - seriously, people live there?)
Tulare Union - The school homepage isn't offensive at all. Ha.
Morris - They blatantly stole DC's logo.

Enough of the high schools though, there are tons of them. Can you name an NCAA team with the Redskins mascot?

Neither can I. Unfortunately I could not find one.

Snyder Being Snyder

So now that my 401K is about 50% of what it was 6 months ago, I have remained optimistic that things are not that bad. Well, that all changed just now. According to the Washington Post, the Redskins have laid off 20+ staff positions, including cheerleading positions. "The revenue from tickets and season tickets was not where it needs to be," according to one of the laid off employees. How is that possible with a sold out stadium and waiting list? Several of the users' comments, including ours, say it best:

"Cheerleading?? I mean I can see the other guys, but the Cheerleaders, Dan? C'mon Man..... It's the last damn thing we have...(sigh)"

"No wonder we didn't go after Cowher..... Hell we can't even afford to keep the cheerleading coaches.....SHYTTT!"

"This is typical of this organization, they throw millions out the window on bad talent. But then worry about, who has the key to the coke machine."

"When a recession hits, it gives rich people all the excuses in the world to start claiming it's a recession and payroll needs to be reduced. This is a prime example........"

"How appropriate would it be if Dan Snyder played Hitler in Valkyrie"

"Cuts included at least one team vice president...Oh please, oh please let it be Vinny!"

"Monkey see, monkey do. Too bad they can't apply that to free agents, and the draft."

"They're making salary cap room for Pacman Jones."

"I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired......"

"F The season tickets for '09! Hell I'm cutting back too!"

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Washington Wizards: Is it Worth Staying Excited?

So I gotta say, it was great to see the Wiz beat the Cavs the other night. Is it justice for losing the last 3 years in the playoffs? Hell no. Not even close. That LeTravel move, "crab-dribble," cost us multiple playoff games. It is fantastic that this finally got exposed. I watched the replay of that same move that killed us at the buzzer in the playoffs, and amazingly not ONE of the ESPN announcers noticed the walk...and that one was 4 steps!

As I see it, referee Bill Spooner just saved the NBA. I expect the Cavs to lose more frequently now that LeTravel has to be more conscious anytime he's rolling to his pivot foot in traffic. As for Spooner, I expect David Stern will have the mafia magically make him disappear. It is very suspicious that the NBA is ignoring the call amongst all this controversy. I mean, whatever anyone wants to say, he took 3 steps. Even my friends in Cleveland admitted it, though for the playoff games they called me a "baby whiner" when I bitched about those walks.

Having said that, let's address the title of this article. Are the Wiz legit enough to watch? The game against the Magic tonight will tell me everything. Even if we lose (which I expect), let's please not get blown out by 25. Dwight Howard is the best, and we have no one to contain him. However, with some good coaching, we can get him in foul trouble early and be creative on the offensive side. This means not dribbling down, passing the ball once, and hucking a long shot from 3 inches inside the 3-point line. And for God's sake, follow your shots! Nick Young is the worst with this...fading and running away after an open shot. We lose multiple rebounds a game.