Thursday, January 17, 2008

NBA Dancer Rankings

So after ranking the NFL Cheerleaders, it is finally time to rank the NBA women. A lot of surprises here. The Lakers girls are terrible (except for the 1) and Indiana and San Antonio did not qualify because there was not a single cute girl amongst them. I even called into their office to see if any of them had a good personality...anything to get them on the board, but No. So sorry SA and IND, you did not even qualify. Overall, these girls are not as hot as the NFL cheerleaders, but oh my God the top 10 are amazing. For this reason I started from top to bottom to build some suspense. At the very bottom I have the side awards which I HIGHLY recommend, especially best team photo. Oh my God...the NJ Nets wind by a landslide. You are VERY welcome for me taking 8 hours of my life to prepare this for you. Cheers! What's ironic is the very first picture I saw on the first team photo (alphabetic ATL, girl "Briana") is the winner and I knew it right away. No one would come close to beating her. Enjoy.

29). Amy - NY Knicks (Disappointing team pic for NY - all average)

28.) Heidi - UTA Jazz
It is almost the all-star break and the Jazz still don't have their shit together. Heidi would probably be in the top 10 if the Jazz didn't use a disposable camera for their dancer's website shots.

27). Nicole - DEN Nuggets

26). Julia - MEM Grizzlies

25). Ashley S. - MIL Bucks

24). Sheena - SEA Supersonics

23). Melissa - LA Clippers

22). Megan - DET Pistons
Welcome to the 60's. All the team girls have this haircut. Swing and a miss.

21). Jeannie - SAC Kings

20). Kristin - POR Trailblazers

19.) Unknown - TOR Raptors
Terrible website. There are no names associated with the girls at all. In fact, there is no link to them either from the main raptors website. I had to Google. Crap.

18.) Krista - NO Hornets

17). Eileen - MIN T'wolves
I don't know why but this girl is mesmorizing.

I couldn't pick a tie.

16). Alexis = GS Warriors

16). Thara - Golden State Warriors

15.) Julie - HOU Rockets

14.) Jenny - MIA Heat

13.) Dawn - CHA Bobcats

13.) Jennifer - CHA Bobcats

12.) Whitney - LA Lakers

11.) Michelle - BOS Celtics

10). Brandi - PHO Suns

9). Erica - PHI 76'ers

8.) Megan - WAS Wizards

7). Lacey - ORL Magic

6). Christina - NJ Nets

5.) Jessica - DAL Mavericks
Trust me. Click this picture to get the full view.

4.) Shannon - CHI Bulls

3). Grace - UTA Jazz
If you like Grace, then check out her gallery of pics.

2.) Kelly - CLE Cavaliers

1.) Briana - ATL Hawks

Best team photo. NETS. Holy shit, brace yourself for this link. It is amazing.

Worst Haircut. What was she thinking?

Worst Team Photo. Seriously, who took this and said "Yes, this looks good!". The 'girl' in the back middle looks like a dude.

Most Disappointing Team Photo - Lakers. It looks like the team had too many group outings to Chipotle:


Dicky said...

Bill Simmons called...he'll see you in court!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Good call on Briana and the NJ dancer group photo. Wow.

Anonymous said...

Christina nets dancers and Briana hawks dancers

Kyle said...

#2? Really?