Top 4 worst commercials right now

With baseball playoff season upon us and NFL in full mode, it is that time of year again where we see the SAME f’n commercials OVER AND OVER AND OVER again….the ones that cause you to change the channel immediately if not mute it…or in my case, curse and get all pissed off. Here are the top 4 worst commercials right now:

4.) Get Ready….for the ride of your life. GOD DAMMIT. I can hear this Toyota song over and over in my head. The worst part is I’ll be at Starbucks getting a coffee, and not even knowing I make that rockstar Vince Neil face shrieking silenty…”Get ready…fooor the riiiiiide of your liiife.” And then I see people starting at me I’m like DAMMIT TOYOTA. I don’t need anymore help looking like a t-bag then I already do. Toyota, you make think you won getting that jingle in my head for life, but alas, add Toyota to the list of cars I will never buy.

3.) Zoom Zoom. JESUS. As soon as I typed this I wanted to kill someone. “Zoom, Zoom, Zoom….yeah zoom zoom. Visit your Mazda clearance center now!” If anything, visit the nearest gun store to blow the TV out then my brains. I know I’ll be 94 in a mental home completely a vegetable, yet the only 2 words in my vocabulary are “Zoom Zoom.” In fact, just like J Peterman’s dying mom in Seinfeld that just before death arises to yell “Bosco”…I guarantee it will be me but with “Zoom Zoom.” Add Mazda to the list of cars I will never buy.

2.) Dane Cook – TBS. Being a fan of the standup circuit, I can say 5 years ago Dane Cook was probably one of the best standup comedians I had ever seen live…but wow, has he sold out. Even Sisqo and Skee-lo can point and laugh at him. The terrible cheesy movies, fine, we’d all take that paycheck, but these TBS ads running over and over. If you’re drawing a blank…”There’s only ONE Postseason…there’s only ONE Fall Classic…THERE’S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!” AHHH.

To make matters worse, he looks like Chandler Bing in his prescription pills addiction era. Whatever. This douche isn’t worth anymore of my time. See if you can watch this 3x without smashing your monitor…because this gets played 753 times that number during each game on TBS.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=18156842

1.) “This is our country.” That says it all. Only in America can you advertise a mass audience so much that it sparks anger. How in God’s name does Chevy think that making us hear this song over and over would make us want to buy their truck? They have pissed me off so much with this commercial that I have made a lifetime commitment to never buy any Chevy cars and even talk anyone out that is trying to buy one. Maybe they are super brilliant and plan to after 3 years of this throw up a commercial, “If you buy this truck, we’ll stop playing the commercial.” Whatever. Chevy’s million $ advertising department must have taken the year off and decided to run the same shit from last year. I really don’t even know how John Cougar Mellencamp can walk out in public. I think he would get killed faster than George W. Bush walking around naked in Fallujah.

I know you want them, so hear it is…sing along…it’s the full lyrics:

The dream will never leave
And some day it will come true
And it’s up to me and you
To do the best that we can do
And let the voice of freedom
Sing out through this land
THIS IS OUR COUNTRY…
From the east coast…
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
Back home
This is our country