Redskins McNabb Shirt - The Legend of Don Burgundy

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Daniel Snyder has to love this stat...

The 2 teams in the NFC championship game are 0-3 against the Redskins this year.

Boldly Hoping Where No Hope Has Helped Before, Vol 1

Welcome to the first installment of what should be a highly speculative, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey style of Redskins' offseason coverage. In this edition of Boldly Hoping, let's line up a dream scenario for the draft.

Forget for a moment that Vinny thinks teams should not draft for need. Forget for a moment that Vinny thinks drafting defensive linemen is dumb. Damnit...forget for a moment Vinny is our default-GM. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

What if we were to attack an area in the same manner as we did with receiver in last year's draft? In this case, the line of scrimmage. In our fantasy scenario, we propose a few trades to better our draft position. I would like to see Carlos Rogers come back. I really would. But the rumblings are that he is unhappy with his spot on the defense (presumably behind DeAngelo Hall), and it looks like the money he thinks he should get is about to go to Hall. If the CBA situation comes to a head next year, he loses his unrestricted free agency. This offseason would be a good time for the Skins to get a pretty decent draft pick for him, and the team trading for Rogers could turn that frown upside down with a new long-term contract. Everyone wins.

And what about Randle-El? What would his trade value be? Surely it does not reside in his return abilities. But he is a decent receiver. On a team with a pass-happy offense, he could fill the Wes Welker-type role (albeit as a 3rd receiver). Small, fast, smart, hard to keep up with underneath. It's not that we can't use Randle-El, it is simply there is a MAJOR problem at Redskins Park that needs to be handled during THIS offseason. The team simply feels compelled to start older veterans that are healthy and getting paid. This past season, you wouldn't hear me argue that Devin Thomas was ready to supplant Randle-El in the lineup. But next year, he simply must be given those reps. You can't convince me that Chad Rhinehart couldn't have done the job Pete Kendall did for us on the line. You can't convince me that Stephon Heyer is/was not at least as craptacular as Jansen was all season (when healthy). A youth movement means going with younger guys. Bugel is notorious for his loyalty to the older guys. Now it looks like Kendall could be gone, and what do we really know about Rhinehart?

Rogers will get us our 2nd rounder back I would bet. Randle-El could get us a 4th or 5th rounder I hope. If we traded future picks this offseason, I would like to see them traded to acquire picks in this year's draft (as opposed to veteran players). Assuming we could net a 2nd rounder in this fashion, let's imagine a 1st day with one 1st rounder, two 2nd round picks, and one 3rd round selection. With those picks, here is what i want to see: 1 OT, 2 DE/OLB, 1 OG/C.

From what I am reading, it appears that there will be some pretty decent offensive line depth in the upcoming draft. If that ends up being the case, let's take the best DE/OLB prospect available at #13 overall. A Brian Cushing from USC or Aaron Curry from Wake Forest would be huge for us, since Marcus Washington seems to be on his way out the door. We missed the boat on Shawne Merriman and DeMarcus Ware...who knows if these guys can fill that mold, but I think that should be our goal.

In the 2nd round, we go for the best OL (preferrably Tackle) available. Given the rush of skill players into the draft this year (underclassmen QB, RB, and WR), a decent crop of otherwise first-round worthy offensive linemen are getting pushed into the 2nd round. If we can get someone to start opposite Samuels on Day One, we win.

With our remaining pick(s) in the top 3 rounds, I would love to see us go after a Center and another DE/OLB.

Let's face it, they are going to let Samuels and Fletcher play until their wheels fall off--and probably rightfully so. Jason Taylor has 1 more year with us, perhaps. We need some talent to be able to come in next year and solidify the right side of the offensive line and bolster a linebacking corps that will be heavily relied upon in the pass rush, both from the end (with their hands on the ground), as well from the LB spots.

FOUR impact players on the first day of the draft--at the area where we need it most in 2009? That is Bold Hoping indeed.

We will certainly refine the segment and focus harder on actual events and stategies either employed by the Redskins or woefully neglected by them. Please feel free to add your own thoughts as we have all come to realize, if Vinny can do it, it just can't be that hard.

Devin Thomas: Who to believe?

Jason La Canfora, an "insider" beat writer for the Washington Post had some strong words in his season review of Devin Thomas:

"..he did not do enough to get himself physically and mentally ready to play, and many in the organization wonder if he ever will..."

"Thomas has already talked about the need to get away from football for a while, which, for as little as he played, is alarming."

"If the Redskins had taken Eddie Royal, who fit the mold of the big, target receiver they were seeking..."

"Moss is no longer one of the elite receivers in the game. His size is a detriment and unlike, say Carolina's Steve Smith, he isn't going to beat Cover-2 for deep plays with any sort of regularity"

A few things here. For starts, Eddie Royal is 5'10 and 182 pounds. He is exactly who we do not need. Secondly, Moss is definitely still one of the elite players in the league. When the QB has no time to let a play open up and defending teams only have to worry about stuffing the run and getting to the QB, that greatly reduces Moss's abilities to get down field.

All that aside, redskins.com just released their own article on Devin Thomas, with quotes from Devin and Coach Zorn which are flat-out opposites to what Jason is reporting:

"I have the offseason to get things right and get ready for next year."

"Devin has been playing faster," Zorn said. "[I’m] feeling good about where he is going and the speed that he is playing with. He’s more confident."

A lot of people, La Canfora included, like to point how later draft picks Eddie Royal and DeShaun Jackson were able to make huge contributions their rookie years. True, but that does mean not Devin Thomas is a bust. He missed most of pre-season with a hamstring injury, which is exactly where the rookies have their time to learn the system, the speed of the NFL, and iron out mistakes. No matter what anyone says, everyone had Devin Thomas as the top WR on their draft board at our pick.

So who do you believe, redskins.com or Jason LaCanfora?

Russ Grimm has Bad Luck

All-pro Russ Grimm has made the cut to 15 for this year's Hall of Fame class. The 4-7 inductees will be announced on January 31st. Russ was one of the anchors for the "Hogs," and has gained some league-wide notoriety lately with his outstanding coaching in Pittsburgh, and now Arizona where he is the assistant coach and offensive line coach. His name is always in consideration for head coaching jobs, and within the next 3 years I think he'll get it.

All that aside, ask anyone in Skins nation and he is a shoe-in for the Hall. However, given how long it took Art Monk and Darrell Green to get in, I do not like Russ's chances at all, especially when looking at his competition this year. Damn Russ! You should of sat this year out! This year's final 15 are:

- Cris Carter
- Shannon Sharpe
- Bruce Smith
- Derrick Thomas
- Paul Tagliabue
- John Randle
----------------------
- Richard Dent
- Bob Kuechenberg
- Andre Reed
- Russ Grimm
- Rod Woodson
- Randall McDaniel
- Ralph Wilson (Buffalo Bills owner)
- Dermontti Dawson
- Cortez Kennedy

The line is my guesstimate of who will make it and who will not. Hopefully the folks in Canton, OH will remember how much revenue Skins' fans gave them last year and decide to let Russ in. I'll definitely travel back to Canton for another weekend of shenanigans.

Redskins Draft Time

I personally do not enjoy talking about draft possibilities unless the team in discussion has a top 10 pick or multiple first/second round picks. Too much happens with trading, and the flashy well-known players are gone after the first round. Having said that, I ESPECIALLY am not in the mood to talk about the Skins draft picks since we only have 4 of them: 1st, 3rd, 5th and 6th. Vinny sold the Skins' 3 other regular picks: 2nd round (trade for Jason Taylor), 4th round (trade for Pete Kendall), and 7th round (trade for Erasmus James). In addition, the Skins 6th rounder in 2010 is gone because of the #55 trade.

A lot of the big mock draft sites have the Skins selecting Jason Smith, the OT from Baylor, with the 1st pick. Since we don't have a #2 pick, it is GUARANTEED we will be trading this pick down for hopefully a late #1 and a #2 if not two 2nd round picks. If mock drafts had black X's over our 1st round pick, then I would be more inclined to read on. Otherwise, we might as well be talking about fantasy LPGA. Selecting a single lineman and nothing else in the first 2 and 1/2 rounds leaves the Skins with the same woeful offensive and defensive lines as last year.

Lastly, I am very thankful the NFL playoffs have started, thus ending fantasy football's season. I personally love fantasy football. I just detest how people I don't know feel it's imperative to tell me all about their team. There's always that one guy at every Christmas party I get stuck in conversations with, "If I had started McFadden over Jamal Lewis in week 6 then I would have made the playoffs! And I originally offered a trade week 4 to my friend, Brian, for Cutler, but..." (gun to my head gesture)

Sights and Sounds: Skins vs Niners

When I booked my flight to San Fran for the holidays two months ago, never in my wildest dreams did I think this game would end up being meaningless. So it goes and the Skins lost. However, as it is with any road game, I met some amazing people and uncovered some great stories. My sister and I arrived at Candlestick Park at 10:30AM. Scalping is always my preference for games, and I expected this game to be an absolute cake walk. I arrogantly took out only $140 from the ATM to get 2 lowers, expecting to pay approximately $40 per ticket. Turns our there were NO tickets anywhere. I ran into 1 scalper who had 2 50-yard lines for $130 per...and that was after I hammered him to death. There were signs EVERYWHERE people looking for tickets. "Oh shit."

We had friends meeting us at the tailgate and as I waited to waive them in I started chatting with some Skins fans. Turns out one of them, Tony, is Portis's best friend from Mississipi. He told me he had 2 extra tix at Will-call, which he was on route to pick up, and I could have them. Talk about a jack-pot! We walk to will-call, and they only had 2 tix for him, not 3. Damn. So he gave me the 1 extra, and I scalped a nose-bleed for my sis for $40. Walking back from will-call Tony got a call from CP's Mom, and after talking to her, he told me that he most likely wouldn't be using the seat next to mine. Jackpot. Two 40-yard line tix 10 rows up. We never had a problem the whole game. Candlestick was sold out and packed. Lots of Skins fans as well.

So that's how I got in. We all know Candlestick is old, but on a scale of 1-10 of being a dump, it's an 11. I have never seen a stadium before where when you walk in, you have to take an escalator UP to get to the LOWER level. Bizzare.


Sitting next to my friend and I was Manny (far left), Andre Carter's agent. I tried to get anything I could out of Vinny and Snyder's negotiating tactics, but it came out dry. In fact, Manny said he never even negotiated with Vinny, it was all done with his assistant, which I found very odd given the high amount of cash for this contract.


Post game I walked around my tailgate and found some great stories. The majority of the Skins fans I met were local Californians that became Skins fans basically because they liked the colors and logo, and now they are die-hard fans.

Roger has been a Skins fans since 1968 and has the Skins forearm tattoo to prove it. Roger and Esta have 6 kids and 19 grand kids ... yet somehow only 1 grandkid is a Skins fan. Roger told me he wasn't one to impose team loyalty as is seen with his wife, a die-hard Niners fan.


Ed (in poncho) and Chris (helmet) who hail from San Jose fell in love with the Skins from the play of Chris Hamburger, who they clearly remembered being a hard-working player and missing his front teeth. Oddly, Ed's father was a Steelers fan and as a kid, Ed saw the Skins colors and logo and said "I like this" and from that point forward has been a Skins fan. His Dad never blinked a second. When I asked what if his son wanted to be a Cowboys fan...Ed replied, "Hell no!!! Wont happen." Cheers to that. Amazing tacos at this tailgate.

The names past me, but he was originally a Fairfax native and moved to Cali 10 years ago. His girlfriend was never a football fan before, but here they are waiting for the players to exit post-game.

And lastly, my favorite story. Meet Mike and Mikey from Bakersfield, CA. Every year, every game they go to the same pizza place to watch the Skins each week. Mikey's birthday was December 21st, and as a present Mike gave him a box of pinto beans. When Mikey unwrapped his 14th birthday gift, he was confused. His dad told him to dig deeper, and buried below were 2 lower-level tickets for the Skins-Niners game on the 40-yard line. Mikey began crying as he now realized he would be going to see his first Skins game. With all the emotion his Dad began crying. They already have plans to travel down to the Skins/Chargers game next year.

Too bad the Skins Offense laid another egg....but as I told all the taunting Niners fans on the way out, 'It just means we have a better draft pick." And of course, "Congratulations on what, you're 3rd win of the year? Hopefully you can draft another Alex Smith."

All in all the Niners fans were awesome. I had at least 8 people come up to me and give "props" for my Sean Taylor jersey. It's amazing to see how much respect Sean continues to get, even from West Coast teams that never had to play against him often.

Now Look Here...There's Only One Ball Coach

At Coach Zorn's press conference to explain why he called himself the "Worst Coach In America", shoes started flying. With Vinny on one side and Snyder on the other (you can't see him over the podium), the pool of reporters started stirring and out emerged the Ole' Ball Coach himself, Steve Spurrier.

As Spurrier hurled the first of two shoes at Zorn's head, he screamed, "If anyone's the worst coach in America, it's me! You wish you could have invented using the Fun N' Gun against the best defenses in the NFL! How dare you infringe on my territory of coaching crappiness!"

Zorn was able to avoid being hit by any of the shoes. Asked about the incident, Zorn said, "All I can say is that Steve's shoes are very, very, very small. We were able to trace them back to a local Stride Rite for Kids. He must have an incredibly tiny penis."

From his position alongside Zorn, Vinny Cerrato was able to provide this insight, "From where I stood it looked like what Spurrier was trying to do was to try and, you know, project...kind of toss, if you will, the shoes in Jim's direction. In that situation what you want to do is try and move your body...try and you know, kind of twist yourelf in such a way as the shoe kind of, you know, kind of fails to make contact with the body."

Snyder, as always, had no comment.

Scouting Punters for the 2009 Draft

Now that the Redskins are looking forward to the 2009 draft, Ahern thought it would be beneficial to help out Vinny in scouting this year's punters. Since punters qualify for 6th round picks, it only makes sense we do our homework. Here is this year's top class ranked in order:


#1: T.J. Conley - Senior (Idaho Vandals):
2008 ALL-WAC FIRST TEAM. Excellent distance and hang-time.

YEAR	PUNTS	AVG	LNG	YDS	NET
2005	28	40.0	65	1121	40.0
2006	67	39.4	66	2640	39.4
2007	68	40.3	67	2741	40.3
2008	58	47.4	74	2751	47.7

#2: Ross Thevenot - Junior (Tulane)

YEAR	PUNTS	AVG
2008	45	45.80

Thevenot, a Punter/Kicker from Lake Charles, in one game, averaged 56 yards per punt on three attempts for 168 yards, placing one inside the 20. He also connected on field goals of 32 and 43 yards while converting all four PATs. His 43-yard field goal with 4:01 to play was a season-long and his 71-yard punt was the longest by a Green Wave player since 2003.


#3: Justin Brantly - Senior (Texas A&M)

YEAR	PUNTS	AVG	LNG	YDS	NET
2005	46	43.2	80	1989	43.2
2006	50	44.3	62	2215	44.3
2007	56	44.2	67	2475	44.2
2008	51	45.7	63	2331	45.7

Learning from the Past (in all seriousness):
There is an amazing truth I discovered about last year's draft, which is rather sickening and I feel Vinny needs to explain. Like the Redskins, the Broncos had their eye pre-draft on landing a solid Punter.

There were 4 punters that finished with a higher average than Durant Brooks (45.06 avg on 65 punts) last year...the winner being Kevin Huber of CIN (46.88 on 57). The #2 overall punter of the NCAA last year was Brett Kern of Toledo. One of the reasons the Broncos liked Brett Kern was that he kicked in the MAC, your basic cold-weather conference. He thrived under those circumstances, leading the nation at one-point in average yardage as a senior. Playing patient, the Broncos got their guy. Guess what round the Broncos drafted him? FREE AGENT. They never had to use a pick. He is now ranked #6 this year overall in NFL punting with ZERO blocks or touchbacks. To me, that is as embarrassing as it gets.

Kern's stats for DENVER this year:

YEAR	PUNTS	AVG	LNG	YDS	In20
2008	44	46.9	64	2066	13

Note: Plackemeier is ranked #31 with a 41.5 average, an abysmal 7 touchbacks, and only 9 punts inside the 20. I find this an embarrassingly low number since Plackeybomber is forced to punt 9 times a game it seems.

Disgraceful

I don't even know where to begin with that debacle. I turned on the game at 1pm, and went back to bed at 2pm. There were so many fundamental mistakes it became almost comical.

- Punts. Why do the Skins continually down the ball on punts when it is still rolling? Tryon was the culprit this week and it cost a few yards.

- Defense. Offsides on the defense on a 3rd and 1 hard-count!! How can you not see that count coming? First down Cincinatti.

- Play calling. JC handed the ball off to Portis on 1st down EVERY drive of the 1st 6 drives. I went back to bed after that so not sure how many more continued. The Bungles' game plan was to obviously stop Clinton, so why not make an adjustment? I felt like I was watching high school kids coach this team. As for the 2 hand-offs to Sellers on the goal-line, I don't mind the call so much, but what is Sellers doing extending the ball like that? Fundamentals! Only stretch the ball out when it's 4th and goal or if your last name is Tomlinson.

- Offense. Terrible run blocking. Surprisingly, Jason got great pass protection. Again, he could not find open guys and he continually got chased down by 300 lb lineman when he scrambled. If we can't even put up 200 yards passing on the worst defense in the league, I'm sorry, but Jason is to blame. My friends also pointed out that Jason NEVER works the line. Look at how Favre, Romo, and Brady conduct the team, read the D, and make audibles. Everytime JC approaches the line, he simply snaps it. He never looks left and right, never stands up and points out blitzers. I am now on the team saying he's a BUST. We all want to root for this kid, but it's simply not working.

Coaching. The defense is the only part of our team that can make successful adjustments. Why is this? It's tough to be patient when a team starts 6-2, but we need to be. I'm not ready to pull the plug on Zorn yet, it simply would not be fair since he inherited a team that does not fit his system.

After yesterday it is clear we need to move forward and take an accurate inventory of our roster. Does this means starting Colt Brennan the last 2 games? perhaps. He was a 6th round pick, which is rather high when a team has 2 solid Qbs in place.

Media Day: Zorn Addresses Portis' Comments

Washington Redskins, Coach, Jim Zorn addressed the media on Wednesday in a rebuttal against Clinton Portis' belittling comments. Zorn appeared in a pink, "Princess in Training" fairy hat, pink wand, and a heart-shaped sunglasses. He introduced himself:

(in girly voice) - "Hi. My name is 'Practicing Princess'. And I go to practice everyday to be the best Princess EVER! I never miss a day of my practice and because of that, I am going to be the best and brightest princess in the land."

Dan Steinberg: "Coach..."
Practicing Princess: "It's 'Practicing Princess'!!!"
Dan Steinberg: "Right...um. What happens when you have an injury where you are unable to participate in practice?"
Practicing Princess: "NEVER!!! I always practice because that is what good princesses do!!!"

----------

Jason La Canfora: "What if the Head Prince tells you that are you are not good enough because you’re practicing is not adequate?"
Practicing Princess: "Than I must listen! The Prince knows everything and I am just a servant who practices his will, and if anything goes wrong, then I know it's my fault and never the Prince's!"

----------

When we touched base with Portis about Zorn mocking his costumes and practice habits, CP replied "Tell Coach I'll be practicing with 6 ladies tonight."

Jim Zorn's Media day hat

Press Release: Redskins Hold Open Tryouts for O-Line

Redskins Hold Open Tryouts for Offensive Line Positions
12/10/2008 9:24 AM: Press Release - Redskins Park

The Washington Redskins announced this morning that they have opened Redskins Park to anyone who would like to try out for the open Left Tackle and Right Guard positions. We feel we truly have the best fan-base in the NFL and that our loyal fans can step up and help fill these holes. We also believe finding open talent will free up having to waste our 2009 draft picks on such boring and mundane positions, and instead draft the exciting players that help sell jerseys and keep fans distracted from the inner-office problems.

Coach Zorn and staff scouted some local schools yesterday and expect 30-40 local players for tryouts. Included in the tryouts, are:


"The Hoggies" - This Loudoun County grade school offensive line juggernaut has not allowed a sack all year and the team is averaging 17 yards per run (not including the one where the RB ran the wrong direction resulting in a safety).


Tina "Meatloaf" McArbystein - Attracted scouts eyes when she posted a 3.8 on her 40 this month (although that's 3 minutes, 8 seconds). Fred Smoot spoke highly of her skills in Minnesota, though he had no further comments on details of that.


Earth, Wind & Fire - This 3-headed monster broke the Montgomery County record for most yards in a season. Although the Redskins have no need for running backs, they are being allowed to try out since their parents signed a 15-year contract for a club-level suite at Fedex.

M&T Stadium. Sights and Sounds

Yet again our lines failed us. The Skins are not an easy team to root for these days, but it was pretty great seeing all the burgundy and gold in Baltimore last night. I'd say the Skins took over 1/10th of the stadium. It wasn't a Pittsburgh showing, but decent none the less. I expected to get heckled a ton, but it was actually the exact opposite. Ravens fans helping me pick up cash that I dropped, telling me to lower my flask when drinking because security is strict. The one tailgate we passed had a nitrous tank. I of course reciprocated by asking my stocked question: "How many miles per gallon does your house get?" Either way...here are some pics from the night:


We all have our opinions on Dan Snyder but to go as far as having a jersey made says quite a lot.


Lamest intros I've ever seen. No Ray-Ray grand entrance this night...instead, a lack-luster Flacco jog.


Again, I've never understood the face-painting unless you're 6 years old and at your own birthday party. Even then actually I'll still make fun of you.


Father son. I asked him how you let your own son be a fan of the opposing team. He told me he doesn't know why but his son just loves the Redskins. All I know is if my son somehow starts liking the Ravens, a.) he's grounded forever, and b.) I certainly will not be financing to dress him up in Ravens clothes.

Worst sign of the night I saw: "Wacco for Flacco"

WRs Develop Slowly?

Load of Shit (ebag): Skins nation has been growing quite impatient with the development of Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas. Obviously they both look to have AMAZING potential, but showing up to camp completely out of shape tells me everything I need to know. Hard work to get paid, then whatever. A lot of the patient people (the other Ahern Kool-aid writer) agrees with this sentiment:

As Ryan O'Halloran recently noted in the Washington Times, wide receivers develop notoriously slowly in the NFL, and it's hard to argue. Slowly though it may be, Devin Thomas is definitely improving. I asked him after today's practice why that was. "I'm just trying to fly around and do everything fast. I've been reading my books so I know what I'm doing out there, and Jason knows I'll be there when he looks my way. He's starting to see me working and going harder out there, and he's starting to trust that I'm going to be there."

Oh really? Lets take a look at the class of 2008 we COULD have drafted. We selected Devin Thomas BEFORE Eddie Royal...who last I checked is having a GREAT year (5 TD 757 yards). Also available was DeShaun Jackson now blowing it up for the Eagles (775 2 TD). And what about Marques Colston's break out year in 2007? WRs develop slowly is a cop-out. Self-motivated, hard-working atheletes that want to play and learn the NFL speed are the ones that thrive. Their God-given talent was enough to destroy the competition on the college level, but this is the NFL. It's not going to be an easy transition, and I truly feel these kids think because they got drafted this high, they won't have a difficult time adjusting. Based on Devin and Malcolm's training camp, it was clear our scouting once again failed us. We are now left with the hope we can parent them into staying focused and working hard. Awesome! Blatche. Kwame Brown. Ringing bells? That is an exaggeration, but I certainly won't be shocked if a DUI or some bone-headed move gets these guys a run-in with the law.


Voice of Reason (Sugar):Great, you named two receivers this year out of the many drafted who are having decent years. Awesome. Here are a few guys who are third year guys this year that are having pretty decent seasons: Greg Jennings, Brandon Marshall, Santonio Holmes....Lance Moore. Sure Jennings and Marshall were good before this year, but neither became the MAN until this year. And here is a list of guys who "broke out" in their 3rd year, giving the theory a little credence. Steve Smith, Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Reggie Wayne, Larry Fitzgerald, Marvin Harrison, Lee Evans, Roy Williams, Anquan Boldin, Javon Walker. Fitzgerald and Harrison were injured in their 3rd year, making them the only ones to post statistical drops in catches and yards from season 2 to season 3 (when healthy, both were on pace for improvements). Evans, Williams, Boldin, and Walker all nearly doubled their receptions and yards from season 2 to season 3. Hey, anyone can cherry-pick stats, but these are some heavy-hitters.

I believe it to be true that wide receivers take 2-3 seasons to develop in the pros. Not only does it take time to get in a rhythm with the QB, but they need to learn the nuances of both their offense as well as those of the various defenses they will face and the corresponding moves they employ to answer. Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly can not be judged this year. True, if they were ready to contribute, we would be better. But they're not. However, based on people who know more than us (the players and coaches), these two show they have the ability to make the kinds of contributions that will solidify our wide receiving corps down the road. This was a position that has needed attention in the draft by us for some time. And going into next season they give us the luxury of focusing on the next place where we need to spend as many high round picks as we can gather--offensive and defensive line.

And who is growing impatient with these two guys? The people who were ready to canonize Zorn that only a month later were ready to lynch him? The people who were ready to send Campbell to Canton and are now ready to cut him? Fickle fans aren't true fans. If this team is going make the transition from the short-sightedness that has crippled our player base and mortgaged our future to one that takes the longview on player development and builds through the draft, we all have to be willing to play a little more wait-and-see on our young nucleus.


Suck it Ebag.

Ravens Fans Suck...Prepare for the Worst

So Ahern will be headed to M&T Bank Stadium on Sunday for what is sure to be a shit show. We plan on tailgating an estimated 8 and 1/2 hours for this one so surely we will see and hear everything imagineable. I've been to a Ravens game before, and though websites have ranked their fans #1, I can easily agree if you mean #1 Most Pathetic. I plan on capturing as much as I can with my camera, but here is a tidbit of the camo-wearing douches we plan to encounter...and how we plan to heckle back.

Why don't you not buy face paint for a season and fix your damn teeth!!


What's gay about a bunch of grown men dressed in matching purple and makeup?


Seriously, how many times have you met Chris Hansen from Dateline?


You're f'n grown men! Why are you wearing face paint? Is it because you're so ashamed of your team and the fact you live in Dundalk, MD?


It's OK sweetie...at least you have your nice, warm trailer to go back to and a loving husband that beats you.


I don't even need to say anything for this. Disturbing.


How many miles per gallon does your house get?


Nice form jackass. Best. Draft pick. Ever.

6 Ways the Redskins are like an Alcoholic Stepfather

The Jim Zorn-led Redskins these days remind me of an alcoholic stepfather. He always says he is sorry and things will get better. You even start to believe it. But just when things are going great; he shows up to your birthday party drunk and tries to hump the cake (or a 1st cousin as pictured here).


1. The Honeymoon Period
Just married your mom. Everything is great. You play catch in the yard each night. He helps you with your homework. There is even talk that he might adopt you. You are extremely excited even though you hardly know him.

This is the Skins 4-1 start. Zorn was new and no one had any idea what to expect...

2. Presents
He throws around expensive presents to make you happy and you feel all tingly inside. Paradise!

Sign Jason Taylor to a 2-year deal and we laugh at our only problem being 2 punters vying for the coveted spot.

3. First sign of trouble
He misses picking you up after basketball practice and the coach has to drive you home. Later that night, you hear him stumble, curse at your mother, and pass out on the couch. When you wake up, he's snoring peacefully sprawled on the floor with one hand still wrapped around his Bud Ice and his foot in a bowl of Ramen noodles.

Loss to Rams. Followed by eke it out win over the lowly Browns, which really felt like a loss. The offense sputtered, but the Skins were still 6-2. Why worry?

4. Apologies
He makes up for it by taking you and your mom out for dinner and then buying you ice cream afterward. Things are good again. See, your mom, tells you, he really does care.

Santana Moss on a punt return delivers the Skins from possible trivia question hell and is the gloss on an otherwise extremely unimpressive performance against one of the worst professional football teams ever assembled...

5. Repeated bad behavior
Family hits some rough times and he hits the bottle like it's a month-long Mardi Gras.

Steelers, Cowboys, Seahawks, Giants. Now the team is 7-5 and staring down the barrel of a vicious Ravens D on a Sunday night national TV game. Why were we excited again?

6. Taking full responsbility
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to. I promise I'll never hit your Mom again. I love you!" - Stepfather

Post-Giants game quotes
"It's unfortunate that it happens so quickly. You've got to show some patience. It's not just one person's fault." - Shawn Springs

"And then that kind of set me off and I just started whining about everything. Believe me. I was on everybody. I was even on myself. We didn’t start out well." - Jim Zorn

"You know what, honestly, I believe each of us has to look ourselves in the mirror and see what’s there. It’s about accountability. We’ve just got to do a better job. Each one of us has to do a better job, plain and simple." - Anthony Montgomery

Who needs Portis?

Zorn!!! My son says your company stinks!!!

Based on the way our offense has performed this year, it would seem you don't watch much film. So as a loyal Skins fan, let me help educate you.

This was footage from a CFL game between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the Saskatchewan Roughriders on October 12, 2002. All these runs by Sellers are consecutive on the same drive. Make sure you catch his last run...it reminds me of when I play tackle football with my nephews who just learned to walk. Mike Sellers as a tailback could be quite exciting and give Washington that Brandon Jacobs style of running we need. God bless everything Portis has done this year, but his banged up body needs a break, and the Ravens game is the perfect game for this, otherwise he'll end up in the Hopkins ICU. Enjoy the footage.

RIP - Sean Taylor

It's one year to the day that Sean was shot. I have been dreading these 2 days for a long time now. It's amazing that my grand- parents that I cherish more than anything, I cannot remember the day they passed, yet Sean's passing is as fresh as ever. It was defintely a JFK moment for me. I was at my desk in Sydney, Australia when I popped open my laptop and my gmail new mail window popped open from my friend Paul stating "So Sean Taylor kicked it." My heart sunk. At Skins games I only watched 21... never the opposing QB. Wherever the play ended Sean was there. Here's an excellent tribute of his plays. I especially love the licks on TO, Jermaine Wiggins, and of course the infamous pro-bowl hit on Moorman. RIP Sean. >>> The Washington Post has a great photo gallery montage of Sean.

"What? Were the Olsen Twins Busy?"

Skins vs Seahawks Announcers: Matt Vasgersian/J.C. Pearson

Past games: Minnesota vs KC Chiefs
New Orleans @ San Fran (last year)

For the love of God, when do we get out of the "worst-announcing tandem" jail? I mean, we Skins fans have suffered through some bad announcers in the last decade or so. But we earned every second of any Sunday where we were served up with Sam Rosen, Bill Maas, Bill Macatee, Gus Johnson, Curt Menefee, Tim Green. Curt is now a studio guy doing the network show and is a lot better. Gus Johnson is WAY better on TV doing college basketball. The problem is, they were like interns when they were assigned to call the Redskins games in the 90's. It's 1997 and I can just hear the network execs now deciding on who announces what:
Suit #1--"Hey we got a couple guys who are a little green and need some work before we decide to give them some real games."
Suit #2--"Perfect. Norv Turner and the Redskins are playing the Saints. We're up against a figure skating exhibition on the other network. We'll be lucky to beat it."

But now? How do we end up with this tandem? Sure the Seahawks suck but this was a national game! Even the sideline reporter was a no-name. Good God. I can't be the only one who was watching them cut to coverage of the game and these two jokers while thinking, "Was there a plane crash? A car accident? Where are the real announcers? Why are there college interns running the show?"

Even after they got a chance, how many Spy vs Spy comments did Vasgersian have to make before someone in the truck outside radioed him to stop? These comments were peppered throughout the entire game and he even lost Pearson while rambling on about sticks of dynamite and acts of subterfuge. Then there was the time Matt called Sellers running for a 7 yard play up the middle and it was clearly Betts.

Sonny and Sam on the radio is clearly the way to go, even it comes with the delay that is carefully negated with a deft pausing of the TV. But then pausing and replaying during the game (which is a must) becomes tough.

Silver lining: At least Tony Siragusa was not in our broadcast.

P.S. If you watched last night's NBC broadcast of Football Night in America, you saw Jerome Bettis' uneven hairline. It was amazing. I challenge you to watch it and NOT see it. It was one of those things where it clearly wasn't done on purpose like an old-school Kid-n-Play fade or back-in-the-day BobbY Brown. No, it was obvious from the rest of his entire haircut that a ridiculous amount of time was spent on the lines (the zigzag sideburns making way for the beard). No way I am convinced this was not a botched do. It was as if when he was getting his haircut someone asked him if he liked Kordell Stewart or "like-liked" Kordell Stewart.

Redskins Gayfest

We don't know if homosexuals follow the NFL, or the Redskins for that matter, but if they did, then they certainly would love this clip. This is a behind the scenes shoot for Easterns Motors....jump ahead to the 1:40 mark, which is about where this still-frame of Cooley's legs appear.



Actually, now that I think about it, there are gay fans. Last year I sat in the upper deck at Fedex for the Cowboys game with my friend's Dad. Amazingly, there were 2 gay Cowboys fans sitting directly in front of us (Cowboys jersies and all). They weren't flaming, but it was bad (arms around each other, smiling a lot). My friend's Dad and I absolutely crushed them with insults so mercilessly they had to leave by the 3rd quarter. I don’t remember all the insults but I remember asking the one dude “So if Romo throws a touchdown today, does that mean you get to receive tonight?”