Unwatchable. Unforgiveable. I am done with the Redskins.

Where do I even start with the Redskins/Eagles game? Oh I know, I am never watching another Skins game again. PERIOD. (sorry, bolding a period does not set the tone to how pissed off I am). Cowboys/Skins next week, I will not be watching. I vow never to watch another game until Saunders and Gibbs are both gone.

First things first. Who runs the ball on 3rd and goal from the 8 yard line!?!? The only possible team that should call this play is the Chargers. Yeah, that is a not a compliment to Norv Turner. And, how many times do we have to watch McNabb scramble for a 1st on 3rd and 21? Especially now that he has 2 flat tires!

I was actually in Philly for the game and listened to their WFAN announcers before the game. To paraphrase, "The Redskins are terrible. They have no passing touchdowns to a WR. Every team has focused on the run (because that's Joe Gibbs football)...so if you want to stop the Redskins, focus on Portis and make Campbell beat you. They barely beat the Jets and Dolphins."
Tough to argue that. However, Campbell was doing just that. First half he was completing long passes and actually looked quite solid. So went wrong? Very simply, COACHING. We seem to be the only team that does not make half-time adjustments.

Yeah, I take to heart Philly talk radio commentary as much as I do Kornheiser's predictions in NASCAR, but it just goes to show how simple and predictable our Offense is. The one gadget play we run every 3 weeks always results in a disaster.

Someone needs to be held accountable for this loss. And I am sick and tired of Joe Gibb's "we fought real hard" and "we have lots to think about it and it all starts with me." F*** THAT. Joe, you are single-handedly losing games with your decisions. Running the ball. Burning timeouts. Last week it was challenging the spot of the ball on a run up in the middle (no one could see anything) and this time on the Betts fumble. Is your headset broken? Are you so senile that you can't understand English from teammates that the play is not clearly visible?

We need a blowup at the post-game podium. I'm talking Denny Green throwing the mic, I'm talking Mora "PLAYOFFS?!" Joe, you need to show and share the same frustration we have and that you give a shit. I have a strong feeling once Joe is gone players will only then reveal how screwed up this hierarchial chain of command is. Two coordinators that run the whole show and one senile mastermind that overrides when he feels like. Whoever called that run on 3rd and 8 needs to step down immediately.

And why is Jason Campbell not audibling? There was one third and short where BOTH safeties were in the box? What do we do, exactly what our tape from the last 7 weeks say...run up the middle. Outcome? STUFF. Punt it away.

I wanted to see at least 1 QB sneak in that situation. I feel like JC should be able to put his head down and get a couple yards almost any time he wants to do it. Especially when we are running no-huddle. But naturally, short-yardage situations this year have turned into 3rd and longs thanks to some timely penalties.

Which leads to my next question, if Belichick coached the Skins, would we have won that game? I'm pretty sure we would have. The Redskins CONTINUALLY make devastating penalties. How is this possible at week 8 AND AT HOME! The first drive of the game it was the illegal contact. So instead of a punt, the Birds get an automatic first and an eventaul TD. Then, the false start by Cooley on third and goal from the 3. How does this happen at home?!?? Inexcusable. Unforgiveable.

And why is it that substitute players bring NOTHING to the table? Once Sean Taylor went down, Pierson Prioleau got absolutely worked. We might as well have had Calvin Booth playing safety. On that crushing Westbrook score, Prioleau was running the wrong direction, and the only play he had to make was force Westbrook to the sideline. What does he do, run towards the sideline allowing Westbook to cut back open in the middle of the field. Does Prioleau attend the same practices as everyone else or he is being coached at Springbrook High? I am not expecting anyone to replace Sean Taylor, but you are in the NFL for a reason. At least play some fundamentals!

Our offensive line has been able to overcome injuries this year thankfully but as a team this is not working.

What is really disheartening is that the Skins right now are as good as they will get. We are not building anything. We have simply been treading water for the last 10 years. We've had some decent draft picks, but Dan Synder's will to continually buy over-priced fee agents to fill holes is a proven anti-pattern. I give Snyder props for bringing in Gibbs and handing the reins over, but enough is enough. If there's one free agent you sign, PLEASE let the next one be a General Manager. We all know you can afford the best, if not, just raise parking another $20 a car, which you'll probably do anyway. Once we have a GM, we can then input a MODERN day coach that is proven and players can trust in following.

For my part, I say to the Redskins entire coaching staff, "Thanks for nothing." I am focusing on the Wiz now. (*sigh*).

ebaggg

FOUR MORE YEARS!

This can't be right. This just doesn't make sense.

With every 3 yard pass on 3rd on 4, every 4 yard run on 3rd on 5, and every decision to punt on 4th and 1, the amount of people calling for Joe Gibbs to retire--or worse, for Joe Gibbs to be fired--grows exponentially. They scream, "He has lost touch with today's NFL player," "He has no feel for the flow of today's NFL game," "He seems lost and confused on the sidelines, and it's costing us games." To all of these people, I ask a question famously offered by The Great Communicator himself, Ronald Reagan--"Are you better off than you were four years ago?"
It is absolutely that simple.

I told you before the season that not only were people ignoring this year's team, they were dismissing this franchise. Like us, Coach Gibbs is far-removed from the greatness of the teams that won championships for D.C. We are not even in the championship debate any more, and it has nothing to do with the Coach's decision to throw or pass or call a time-out. This town can thank Norv Turner, Steve Spurrier, Danny Wuerrfel, Jeff George, Deion Sanders, and VINNY CERRATO for our current state of irrelevance...to name but a few of the folks who have contributed to the craptastic environment that has grown and festered in the last decade and a half.


We survived (barely) the Norv Turner years. Like passing through a desert, that span of time tested our wills, and it is clear we lost some people along the way. Terry Robiskie and Steve Spurrier managed to suck so loudly that the great success of Marty Schottenheimer in 2001 is hard to discern. Steve Spurrier shouldn't have been released from his contract--he should have been charged with a felony. In addition to criminally ruining the career of our last 1st round quarterback by employing a pass protection scheme that was DESIGNED TO GENERATE SACKS, he embodied the "Better to give up than show up" attitude that we witnessed in Deion Sanders and Lav Coles when each of them left town. Norv is captain of the all-time "Abandon the Run" team, Spurrier is captain of the all-time "Abandon the Quarterback" team, and Schottenheimer was just plain abandoned.

Gibbs doesn't have the word abandon in his vocabulary. Down 17-3 to the Jets (a bad team), he stuck to his game plan and scraped out a win that left me wanting to vomit. It was not a pretty win but he decided what it would take to beat that team, and he went out and did it. One of the greatest players to ever suit up on the defensive side of the football, Champ Bailey, gets a pass from being blamed for anything--he was fed up with this franchise. But he had the decency to approach Coach Gibbs like a man and tell him he was done instead of doing it on TV through the media. Thanks to his professionalism, we at least got a franchise running back in return for him--though you won't hear me extolling the virtues of RB's over franchise CB's.

But we made it back to Joe and he made it back to us. He never folded his losing hand, even blaming himself for the early failures of an organization in complete disarray. Have we enjoyed Super Bowl success since his return? No. But we don't deserve the luxury of judging our team in terms of championships these days. We haven't deserved that since Joe left.

On to my most pressing concern. We call ourselves the Redskins' faithful...where's the faith? Part of what makes us so insufferable to the rest of the league's fans is the way we hold Gibbs to Christlike status. If that seems backwards even to us, the fact that we would choose to turn on him now is even more backwards. Are we better off than we were four years ago? Of course we are. This team is heading in the right direction. The speed at which we are heading in that direction is debatable. But the signs of progress are hard to ignore. We have a starting quarterback who is about to make his 16th career start, giving us a look at what he can do over the course of a "full season". Currently 7-8 in his first 15 starts, there is no real leap in the major stats from his 7 starts last year to his 8 starts this year except for one--WINS. He was 2-5 last year. He is 5-3 this year. Is anyone going to confuse him with Tom Brady? Of course not. But is anyone going to confuse him with John Friesz, or Heath Shuler, or Rob Johnson? Of course not.

The caliber of person at the leadership positions on our team--Campbell, Landry, Fletcher, Samuels, Jansen, Daniels--is at the highest level since the last group of players to suit up for Gibbs. Sure, he did not bring all of those guys in, but he sure kicked a few guys out who didn't meet his standards. I would include Sean Taylor in his own category. As long as we can re-sign him, his maturity and approach to the game these days has all the makings of a most distingushed career.
You want to play the "should've" game? Let's play. We "should've" lost to the Cards. We "should've" lost to the Jets. But we "should've" beaten the Pack. And we "should've" beaten the Giants. Net result is still 5-3. Fun game.

Finally, a little dose of reality. Does Joe Gibbs look like he is in a 100% comfort zone out there? No. Does he give us the impression he knows exactly what to do in every situation instantaneously the way he once did? No. Does he appear to be taking too many cues from any of the zillion coaches on the sidelines and upstairs? Yes. But to call for his firing? Where does that leave our team? How does that continue with the trend away from disarray that GIBBS started? How does that make us better? And what has Vinny done to prove he is capable of replacing Gibbs with someone who will take this ball and run with it?

Keeping the faith is not supposed to be easy. When you have to do it, it generally means you are clinging faithfully to something that is not readily apparent, or visibly seen. We have reason to believe, and that reason is very very simple. We are better off now than before the return of Coach Gibbs. Where previous coaches did not deserve the chance to continue their reigns of terror, inadequacy, and apathy, Gibbs has earned the right for us not to give up on him.

sugar

Eastern Motors Trivia

I don't even want to talk about Sunday's debacle against the Pats. So instead, lets play a game. See if you can matchup the player with their Eastern Motors nickname. Answer key is below the lyrics, which now will be stuck in your head the rest of the day (you're welcome).

Note: If you get #5 wrong then you should seriously see a doctor to test if you are downs-syndrome.

Players:	Nicknames:
1.) Antwan Randle El 2.) Sean Taylor 3.) Jason Campbell 4.) Carlos Rogers 5.) Santana Moss 6.) Clinton Portis 7.) Willis Maghee 8.) Ray Lewis	a.) The Inspector b.) The Predator c.) The Moss Factor d.) The Punisher e.) The Transformer f.) Trouble g.) The Enforcer h.) The Maestro

At Eastern Motors…Motors,
Your job’s your credit…credit.
At Eastern Motors…Motors,
Your job’s your credit…credit.

Fords, Hondas, Chevys, Beemers
and minivans,
Over 600 cars, trucks, SUVs - are you listenin’ man?

Let Eastern Motors,
Put you in a car today.
Let Eastern Motors,
Finance it all the way..
.
.
.
.
.
Answers:
1.) e 2.) d 3.) h 4.) g 5.) c 6.) b 7.) f 8.) a

Top 10 Ways to Mess with Owners & Players if I Won the Lottery

If I won the lottery, here's the top 10 promotional nights I would pay to make happen:


10.) "Make it Rain Night". For Pacman Jones's first game back...give every fan in the upper deck a stack of $100 in singles in funny money.



9.) "Travis Henry Protection Night". If you're not aware, Travis Henry has 9 kids with 9 women. Buy every ticket in the stadium and give each person carrying a baby 1 free ticket. A whole stadium with crying babies would be hysterical. Free condoms at the door as well.



8.) "Free Beer and Frisbee Giveaway Night." I always wanted to mix a 'free draft beer' with a frisbee night promotion. If I had to pick (and I can since I just won the lottery), I choose the next Eagles home game when they play the Cowboys. I am just visualizing the barrage now:



7.) "Latrell 'I feed my kidz' Spreewell Boxed Dinner Night". Every kid 18 and under gets a free dinner upon entry.



6.) "Seal On Ice". I enjoy seeing people suffer, so for the 90,000+ that attend the outdoor NHL game in Buffalo this year, I would pay to have this as the intermission show and laugh my ass off while people boo. Frisbee night would be a good merger for this as well.

http://www.seal.com/index.php/2007/10/16/seal-brings-his-music-to-life-on-ice-in-one-time-only-live-skating-production/



5.) "Welcome Back Trent Green Night". Buy 60,000 neck braces and hand them out to each person for Trent Green's first game back.

** Bonus - Anyone who arrives at the front gate in a gurney gets free tickets to next week's game as well.



4.) "Screw Dan Snyder". Being a Skins fan, I can personally attest to the OUTRAGEOUS parking prices that exist (like last year as a season ticket holder I had to pay $20 to park for a SCRIMMAGE). Not to mention Snyder bought out all the nearby parking areas and jacked the prices for those spots too. To add to the frustration, you cannot get into the parking areas until 4 hours before game time (presumably to keep people sober to buy food/drink inside).

My proposal: Build a massive 20,000 car garage next to Fedex Field with free parking, shuttles, tailgate parties, and jerseys.





3.) "Welcome Back Vick Night". Whatever team Vick comes back to play for, make a huge donation to allow people to "bring your dog to the game", and have the dogs barking the entire game.



For an extra $15 mil, I would demand to have full control of the PA system/DJ.

DJ Tracklist:
- Baja Men: "Who let the dogs out" (obviously) - played between each offensive play
- NIN : "I want to f*ck you like an Animal" (anytime he takes the field)
- Anything by Snoop Dogg, DMX, 3 dog night, or Lil Bow Wow
- Blink 182 - (Just read the lyrics) http://www.tsrocks.com/b/blink-182_texts/fuck_a_dog.html

Bonus: Right before kickoff, I would "Ask for a moment of silence for all the lost pets out there...," and then say "..and For Michael Vick" and then blow my silent dog whistle into the PA speaker so all the dogs go f'n ape-shit.


2.) "Romo(sexual) Fan Appreciation Night". I'd buy every ticket I could at Cowboys (Irving) stadium (minimum 20,000+) and pass them out to every flamer in Dallas the night before ... with the deal they can have the ticket to the game for free if they wore a cut-off tight Romo jersey and whistled at him the whole game.



1.) "Chris Henry Gat Night". Cincinnati Bengals. Every person in the stadium gets a free cap gun. It'll be like a Mexican wedding when Chris Henry scores.

** you got any suggestions? add them via Comments....for those of you that wished I used Eli manning for #2, believe me, it was a close call.

Rankings: Hottest NFL Cheerleaders by team

After combing through each team's cheerleader squad, every girl, I have done all the hard work and ranked the hottest girls. It took over 9 hours to research, rank, and type this f'n thing, but no worries, I did it at work. To my surprise, there are MULTIPLE teams that have no cheerleader squads. Shame on you: Jets, Browns, Steelers, Giants, Bears, Lions, and Packers. If Denver and KC can have squads with their weather, there's no excuse for the others. Ok, the Jets have a 'cheering' squad but there is no roster or way to see the girls. F-em...onto the hotties.

I decided to rank from hottest to worst...and believe me, it was hard choosing a cute girl on some of the sorry squads. One thing I noticed is that the girls photos are much hotter than they actually look, but until I see them in person for orgies, this is all I can go by. At the bottom are best team squad photos (which I highly recommend) and some honorable mentions. If any girl feels they are hotter, please send a nude photo to this account and I will re-consider (most likely in your favor). Onto the rankings:

1.) Britney (Tampa) . Dear lord. This is some sort of optical illusion b/c you can't stop your eyes from jumping to each picture and back. You see it all but can't take in fast enough.

2.) Summer (San Diego Chargers) - High quality bathing suit photo. Bravo SAN DIEGO.

3.) Andrea (Houston Texans). Wow. wow. wow. wow.

4.) Alexandra (Philadelphia Eagles).

5.) Alysha (New England Patriots) . Incredible body. God was in a good mood when he made her.

6.) Chelsea (Washington Redskins) . Dammit. Why are the legs cut off?!?!?!

7.) Abigail (Dallas Cowboys). IQ is probably 14 but who cares?

8.) Amy (Arizona Cardinals). ASU student so you know she f*cks!

9.) Kate (STL Rams). I would love to substitue the wall for my junk.

10.) Cassie (San Francisco 49ers). It took me 3 solid minutes to look up and see her pretty face.

...and the rest.........

11.) Ashley (NO Saints)http://www.neworleanssaints.com/Saintsations/Roster/People/Ashley.aspx

12.) Stephanie (ATL Falcons)http://www.atlantafalcons.com/People/Cheerleaders/Stephanie.aspx

13.) Leslie (BAL Ravens)http://www.baltimoreravens.com/Cheerleaders/CheerleaderBio.aspx?id=1228

14.) Lauren (DEN Broncos) - A healthy Lindsay Lohan. Should be in the top 10.

http://www.denverbroncos.com/page.php?id=117&contentID=7437

15.) Christie (CAR Panthers)

http://www.panthers.com/Cheerleaders/CheerleaderBio.aspx?id=681

16.) Lindsey (CIN Bengals)

http://www.bengals.com/cheerleaders/bio.asp?cheerleader_id=75

17.) Chelsea (OAK Raiders) - Isn't this sign language for "I like anal?"

http://www.raiders.com/Raiderettes/CheerleaderBio.aspx?id=19600

18.) Kristie (SEA Seahawks)

http://www.seahawks.com/Multimedia/PhotoGallery.aspx?id=54132

19.) Amy (KC Chiefs)

http://www.kcchiefs.com/cheerleader/amy3/

20.) Lilly (MIA Dolphins)http://www.miamidolphins.com/newsite/cheerleaders/cheerleaders_scrapbook.asp?cheer_id=103

21.) Jenny (TEN Titans)

http://www.titansonline.com/team/cheerleaders/bio.php?PRKey=59

22.) Erin (JAX Jaguars)

http://www.jaguars.com/cheerleaders/Bio.aspx?id=9

23.) Bailey (Colts)

http://www.colts.com/sub.cfm?page=cheerleader_bio&id=482

24.) Amanda (MIN Vikings)http://www.vikings.com/CheerleadersProfile_amanda_s_2007.aspx

25.) Jessica (Buffalo Bills)

http://www.buffalojills.net/bios/jessicad.html

Best Team Photos:

1.) TAMPA - Holy shit this is mind-boggling. You can spend 30 minutes on this easily! Enjoy.
http://www.buccaneers.com/cheerleaders/teamphoto.aspx

2.) EAGLES - Lets play a game. Pick the one you want to bang the most. It'll take you at least two minutes to decide because as soon as you see one, the next one is cuter, than you back to the start and do it over again. Took me quite a few tries and I still don't know.

http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/cheerleaders/squad.html

3.) TEXANS - A lot of cute facs, plus the only team with TWINS. Holla.

http://www.houstontexans.com/cheerleaders/2007Squad.asp

4. CHARGERS - all pictures are large, high quality, and in bathing suits

http://www.chargers.com/charger_girls/2007-squad/

5.) SAINTS

http://www.neworleanssaints.com/Saintsations/Roster.aspx

----------------------------------

Best Asian:

http://www.redskins.com/cheerleaders/profile.jsp?id=472

Best Twins:

http://www.houstontexans.com/uploads/photo/thumbs/4192.jpg

Best Rack:

http://www.colts.com/sub.cfm?page=cheerleader_bio&id=455

Wost Team Photo:

BILLS. Worst site ever. Each girl only has 1 picture and it seriously looks like the picture was taken with a disposable camera...plus they are from long range. Booo.

UPDATE: The NBA Dancer rankings are now available!!

Chris Cooley's Fiance/Wife Christy [pics]

So we've all heard the stories about Chris Cooley and how hot his fiance (wife) is. Well, I just want to thank Chris, Christy, her family, the Redskins, and Jebus for all agreeing she can do a MAXIM spread. This makes all those strip club stories so much better....enjoy:

Top 4 worst commercials right now

With baseball playoff season upon us and NFL in full mode, it is that time of year again where we see the SAME f’n commercials OVER AND OVER AND OVER again….the ones that cause you to change the channel immediately if not mute it…or in my case, curse and get all pissed off. Here are the top 4 worst commercials right now:

4.) Get Ready….for the ride of your life. GOD DAMMIT. I can hear this Toyota song over and over in my head. The worst part is I’ll be at Starbucks getting a coffee, and not even knowing I make that rockstar Vince Neil face shrieking silenty…”Get ready…fooor the riiiiiide of your liiife.” And then I see people starting at me I’m like DAMMIT TOYOTA. I don’t need anymore help looking like a t-bag then I already do. Toyota, you make think you won getting that jingle in my head for life, but alas, add Toyota to the list of cars I will never buy.

3.) Zoom Zoom. JESUS. As soon as I typed this I wanted to kill someone. “Zoom, Zoom, Zoom….yeah zoom zoom. Visit your Mazda clearance center now!” If anything, visit the nearest gun store to blow the TV out then my brains. I know I’ll be 94 in a mental home completely a vegetable, yet the only 2 words in my vocabulary are “Zoom Zoom.” In fact, just like J Peterman’s dying mom in Seinfeld that just before death arises to yell “Bosco”…I guarantee it will be me but with “Zoom Zoom.” Add Mazda to the list of cars I will never buy.

2.) Dane Cook – TBS. Being a fan of the standup circuit, I can say 5 years ago Dane Cook was probably one of the best standup comedians I had ever seen live…but wow, has he sold out. Even Sisqo and Skee-lo can point and laugh at him. The terrible cheesy movies, fine, we’d all take that paycheck, but these TBS ads running over and over. If you’re drawing a blank…”There’s only ONE Postseason…there’s only ONE Fall Classic…THERE’S ONLY ONE OCTOBER!” AHHH.

To make matters worse, he looks like Chandler Bing in his prescription pills addiction era. Whatever. This douche isn’t worth anymore of my time. See if you can watch this 3x without smashing your monitor…because this gets played 753 times that number during each game on TBS.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=18156842

1.) “This is our country.” That says it all. Only in America can you advertise a mass audience so much that it sparks anger. How in God’s name does Chevy think that making us hear this song over and over would make us want to buy their truck? They have pissed me off so much with this commercial that I have made a lifetime commitment to never buy any Chevy cars and even talk anyone out that is trying to buy one. Maybe they are super brilliant and plan to after 3 years of this throw up a commercial, “If you buy this truck, we’ll stop playing the commercial.” Whatever. Chevy’s million $ advertising department must have taken the year off and decided to run the same shit from last year. I really don’t even know how John Cougar Mellencamp can walk out in public. I think he would get killed faster than George W. Bush walking around naked in Fallujah.

I know you want them, so hear it is…sing along…it’s the full lyrics:

The dream will never leave
And some day it will come true
And it’s up to me and you
To do the best that we can do
And let the voice of freedom
Sing out through this land
THIS IS OUR COUNTRY…
From the east coast…
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
Back home
This is our country