Decision '08, Hun

OK...so a hardcore sports rivalry has not yet fully materialized, but the fact of the matter is that there is enough fanaticism for local teams in both D.C. and Baltimore to envision a time in the not-too-distant future where one will exist. This inevitability has caused this writer to wonder: better sports town -- DC or Balmer? We are going to make some pretty hard decisions in the words and days to follow. Let me know how far off you think I am. And for those of you who are already saying, "You can't compare those two things"...save it. I can. And I did. In the first part of our hard-hitting series, we examine a few of the stadiums that have been dear to the respective city's residents over the years.




Old School Stadiums: Memorial Stadium vs RFK
Nestled on 33rd street, with a downtown yet still neighborhood kind of flavor, Memorial Stadium was a hell of a place to get to go to as a kid. I remember sitting with my back to the brick wall on the top row behind home plate watching the likes of Eddie Murray, Mike Flanagan, Jim Palmer, Rick Dempsey, and of course the Ripken family. As a structure, it wasn't the prettiest and the bench seats were hard to sit on for hours on end. No, it was what happened inside the confines that made Memorial Stadium the place it was. Rex Barney giving fans contracts (did you know he pitched a no-hitter for the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1943), Earl Weaver getting in the umpires' faces, Rick Dempsey sliding across the tarp during rain delays, and of course, The Oriole Way. I always remember walking to and from the stadium as a small kid thinking that the folks who lived literally next-door to the stadium must be millionaires since I could not imagine any other way to secure such a sweet spot. Summer nights at Memorial Stadium were religious experiences for a kid who got maybe 1 or 2 of them per year.
RFK Stadium was another example of a magical destination that -- to most Redskins fans -- was more spiritual than the trip they made to church earlier that day or weekend. For me it was the Joe Gibbs era I got to witness first-hand, getting to go to maybe a handful of games as a young kid, before securing a job as a soft-pretzel vendor in high school. The stadium drew on the mystique of the Gibbs-led teams, but it had some flair of its own. The lid around the rim of the stadium had a way of funneling the sound back down around the field and fans. And let's not forget the bouncing section of seats, causing everyone in the stadium to wonder if the place was going crumble apart at any moment. The neighborhood along Benning Road may not have the Charm that Baltimore boasts, but it was/is D.C's stadium and the aura of urban life in the nation's capital has always been inescapable in and around RFK. Summer nights, orange tee-shirts, and O's caps were to Memorial Stadium what cold, wintry Sundays, 4 layers of clothes, and burgundy and gold knit hats with the little half burgundy/half gold puff on the top were to RFK. Though I am a far greater Redskins fan than Orioles fan, I can not distinguish between those great Orioles teams under Earl and those great Redskins' squads under Joe Gibbs. As a stadium though, RFK seemed to have a way of communicating that Memorial Stadium did not. The bouncing seats and deafening roar gave the stadium a voice that intimidated opposing teams for decades.
Edge: RFK




New Stadiums: Fedex Field vs M&T Bank Stadium
Disclaimer: Fedex Field is my home away from home. As much as any great homesteader in America's Manifest Destiny era did, I have claimed the area around F21 as my own personal land. Over the years a tailgate has developed, and it can honestly be said that the last tailgate of this past season was the greatest so far in a long line of increasingly great tailgates. I know the folks in my section because I have sat with them for 8 years now, and I know the folks in my section of the parking lot because they too have kept in constant pursuit of an ever-improving tailgate -- F21 called out to more than just me, and don't think we didn't all appreciate the seeming coincidence of the number given the year's tragic loss. Can I possibly be impartial in this category?
I have been to maybe 5 games at M&T, including a playoff game against the Titans about 3 years ago -- all with a group of guys who made an annual trek to the parking lot underneath I-95 to chug Jaeger-bombs and stumble into games by the 2nd quarter. The stadium is simply amazing. Where Fedex looms large as a hulking concrete giant along the capital beltway, M&T stands as a friendly, inviting structure as you enter into the city from the highway, a beautiful companion to Camden Yards that completes the view as you pan from the B&O warehouse to the 95 overpass. If you don't want to tailgate underneath a major interstate, there are the bars in Federal Hill, and of course Cross Street Market as well as.....a thousand corner bars in between and around all within walking distance. On the inside, the unavoidable video screens make this Redskins fan wonder which team boasts the bigger balance sheet -- we might as well have 13-inch screens in each endzone! The old-school Jumbotron/Diamondvision/awfulness at Fedex is a DISGRACE! Players racing down the sidelines in Baltimore for a score actually look up at the screen(s) to see how close defenders are to catching them! Players at Fedex look in that direction and they see a Budweiser sign. Seriously, what gives Danny?
Fedex packs more folks in, but I have sat in the farthest seat away from the action in both M&T and Fedex. Let's just say the difference in views is undeniable. The crowd noise is louder in Fedex on account of the extra bodies, which is very important to me. But M&T does not follow that far behind in this category. Snyder has done much to improve the utilitarian block of cement that Jack Kent Cooke paid to have built overnight, but M&T had Charm and flavor from conception. And those screens just do it for me.
Shocking edge: M&T

Up Next: Cal Ripken vs. Darrell Green; Baltimore Bullets vs. Washington Bullets; John Riggins vs. Ray Lewis

Ovechkin Now At Top of Tooth-Donor List

It seems that the best hockey player the nation's capital has ever seen wasted no time waving some of the record $100 million he recently signed for in front of a few faces. Or mouths, as it were. The Inquirer has learned from a high-placed source that Alexander Ovechkin is now next in line for a much-needed tooth transplant. Speaking on condition of anonymity, the source expressed doubt that a man of Ovechkin's young age and abundant means would be so high of a priority that he would be the next in line. "Given the nature of the serious cases you will find at the top of the tooth-donor list, it is clear that this man has no business being next in line. I mean, Jewel and Steve Buscemi have been waiting for years for their transplants. This is a mockery of the process."

With that, the Inquirer was handed a list of folks waiting patiently for their tooth (or teeth) transplants. This list is maintained by The American Association For the Advancement of Cosmetic Enhancements (or AASSFACE).



Amy Winehouse

Jewel

Steve Buscemi

Iron Mike

Hilary Duff

Kirsten Dunst

We have been informed that all of these individuals have spent years on the list. Without complaining. After all, it's not like they are rooting for that untimely event that will result in the availability of the grill of their dreams. When asked how teeth become available in this program



Flavor Flav

Head Oompa loompa

To think Ovechkin had the clout to overtake Flav is one thing, but Tom Cruise!? I'm in disbelief. Though to be fair, this would be Cruise's 3rd tooth transplant. The first came after filming "Top Gun", when he tried to bite into Val Kilmer's ass -- let's just say that Iceman rocks some serious glutes. The 2nd transplant came after filming "Jerry Maguire" when he tried to bite into Cuba Gooding Jr's ass. Cuba knocked him out -- he might like wearing Michael Jordan's underwear (on his face), but he doesn't stand for butt-nibbling Scientologists.

It is hard to root against Ovechkin getting whatever he wants, especially over the likes of Tom Cruise.

Nobody Beats the Wiz ... (OK, everyone does)

So after watching the Wiz/Rockets game last night, it's pretty clear we're a mess. Now, we are coming off 4 games in 5 days...so I guess we can't take this performance as a true test. What disheartended me was the total lack of quality shots. Look at the picture above, that is not exactly a play Eddie would draw up and there has to be a better shot than this. Not only that, we made Dikembe look as if he was 25 years old and his prime. I wanted to throw the TV out the window everytime he waved that 4-foot finger. The only highlight of the night was when Dikembe got T'd up for doing it in Blatche's face.

The most notable stat of the night was that the Wiz continued their streak of being the top of every else's franchise record stats. We only scored 23 points in the first half. This tied the franchise record for the Rockets for the lowest by an opponent (and Yao didn't even play).

Watching the game, it reminded me a lot of when a 7 year-old plays against their 16 year-old brother. Lots of awkward shots, blocks, and just being out-hussled with ease. On one fast break, AD and Jamison ran into each other and AD missed the layup. I guess it's better to forget this night and move on. After all, it's Phil and Steve Bobblehead night in a month. The question is, will we still be in the playoff hunt by then? With the East, yes, anything is possible. Not without Caron though.

Jesus PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday 2/22/08 7:20AM - OK, so it is raining and there are accidents ALL OVER D.C. There is a 30 car pileup on 370. Can anyone drive in this city? Freakin schools are closed/delayed and it is raining!! People...PLEASE READ this....it is your guide in how to drive in snow, ice, and rain!!

1.) When there's inclement weather, it's going to take longer for you to get where you are going. Just accept it. Either leave earlier or call ahead. Everyone has the same problem as you so if you have a meeting or some rule you have to be at your desk at 9...just give it up. It's a valid excuse. The "don't be a hero" theory applies here.


2.) You're not going to be able to drive normal speeds even if traffic is moderate. Keep to a speed where you can feel the car on the road. Let the people that don't understand this rule pass you on the left and throw your coffee at the person on the right going 5 mph with their hazard lights on.



3.) Don't expect to hit the gas and brake like you normally do. That's what causes you to spin out. Ease into ALL acceleration and braking. Even if you have to make a sudden stop (which you shouldn't because of #2), ease the brake first before slamming it.


4.) If you do lose control where the car starts veering, turn your steering wheel into the direction the car is veering...this will get you control again. DON'T SLAM THE BRAKE.


5.) If you do have great traction and see a bridge or ramp above, ASSUME that it is icy. There is always that bump where the pavement meets the bridge and that is enough to spin you out. Do not EVER accelerate when driving over this part. Take your foot off the gas then slowly re-accelerate once you're through it. This goes for ANY part of the road you suspect icy patches.

If any of the above fails, you're an idiot. Move to Florida.

99 Problems but a Coach Ain't One

Welcome to the JZ era.

As ebaggg posted previously his concerns with Dan Snyder's selection, I feel quite different. It's JZ baby.

OK, so Mariucci didn't make the grade. Fassel was left at the altar AGAIN by Snyder. Ron Meeks...sorry man, you were starting to really gain some support from fans who were beginning to consider you the least of all the evils being pursued by Snyder. Instead, we went the more conventional route...we promoted from within. Sort of. (See next post for ebagg's less rosy outlook for Jim Zorn)

Look, this process has been tough to endure. Dan Snyder fielded calls from folks representing Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, and Lindsay Lohan. He took some serious heat off of them in the last 3-4 weeks. Yes, this whole process has been EXACTLY like Dan Snyder getting photographed with his junk hanging out. Or wandering the streets in his underwear with a little Vinny doll under his arm. The one thing we had going -- that no other team was looking for a coach so we had no competition -- turned into the worst thing since we were the only team to scrutinize. And when the NFL world turns its attention to Dan Snyder, Redskins' fans' email boxes fill up fast. Lightning fast.

The spotlight cast on this organization in the past month has illuminated all of the things that we Redskins' fans have had the luxury of ignoring since Joe Gibbs came back. None of us wants to be an apologist for Dan Snyder. None of us wants to defend him. He's the kind of guy you'd want to flick on the ear in the dead of winter, with a wind chill of 25 below. What a testament to a man: when you show that you are willing to embark on an actual process to interview multiple candidates, even waiting 2 weeks to interview a guy who had a little bit of promise, you still get killed in the media because you have managed only to make it look like you have no idea what you want or what you are doing.

The only explanation I can muster is this:

1) What was the rush? We were the only team looking for a head coach.

2) At least Snyder didn't bid against himself trying to get Cowher, or Schottenheimer, or Ditka, or some other big name.

3) If Gibbs, Cerrato, and Snyder really did think Zorn was a head coaching candidate all along, they at least put him on staff to groom him for the future, and if they then re-visited him as a candidate for the present, the process was successful.

Too much back and forth with Fassel for my tastes though. Too many clandestine conversations, secretive meetings, and cloak-and-dagger tactics. We're talking about hiring a head coach of a football team, not the planning of a war. They took themselves so seriously, we were all left to believe they thought they knew exactly what they were doing. And since in the past, they have proven to not know what they were doing, the lunacy of the situation took on its own life. So let's not apologize for Snyder...he's on his own, just him and Vinny against the world.

Jim Zorn could very well be the next guy who makes the successful jump from QB coach to head coach, a la Andy Reid. Did you know that Zorn was the coach that Mike Holmgren put in charge of handling 3rd and 7+? He is an idea guy, a high-energy guy, and a guy who has experience getting young quarterbacks to the next level. Here's hoping Jim Zorn is as crafty at dealing with the Syder/Cerrato tag-team as he was when he was running for his life trying to evade the pass-rush in Seattle and find Steve Largent downfield. It says here we got ourselves a good coach.

**we're going to try and include a Top 5 ranking (on everything and anything) in every post from here on out. Include yours with your comments.

Top 5 Discs-Sugar

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band -- The Beatles

Bringing It All Back Home -- Bob Dylan

Wildflowers -- Tom Petty

Low End Theory -- A Tribe Called Quest

MTV Unplugged -- Jay-Z featuring The Roots

And the New Coach for the Skins is...Dan Snyder! (I told you so)

OK, so Jim Zorn Dan Snyder is our new head coach. The Ahern Inquirer called it! I think everyone at this point is confused because we don't really know anything about Zorn besides his Seattle career. In short, he has ZERO experience as an offensive coordinator and ZERO experience as a head coach. That is quite a jump to go from a QB coach to head coach (and your team is not Arizona, St. Louis, or Maplewood). But it all makes sense if we take a look at Dan Snyder. He has always been someone who wants control. That was always the case pre-Gibbs era. And when he was able to bring in Gibbs, well, even Vince Lombardi would have given over full control to Gibbs in DC...so Snyder made the right (and only) move he could have then. Gibbs was probably wise enough to say keep out or I walk. Now that the Gibbs era is over, it's clear Dan $nyder wants a coach where he can have a large say. However, ANY veteran coach always has their own way of doing things. So clearly, Gregg Willians would not fit. Jim Fassel would not fit. So what's the next logic step? ... bring in someone that doesn't have a hard-lined stance on procedures and work with him through the process. It all stinks...although Brian Billick or Fassel would have been a disaster, I don't think we're any better off now. New coaches seem to have less control over the players which means the Freddy Smoot sex boat is making a stop at the Georgetown Waterfront in a few months. As I see it, after all these years of the Skins playing under old-fashioned hard-lined coaches, and now they have all-new young ones, it's no different than when as kids we got the substitute teacher and started throwing food all over the room. Sure, Blache was here under Gregg, but that doesn't mean a thing when it comes to disciplining. There's always the WNBA. Snyder doesn't own that (yet). Go Mystics!!!

What do you think and why?
1.) Over/Under - Skins wins this year: 6.5 games
2.) Over/Under - Zorn as head coach: 2.5 years (he has a 5 year contract)
3.) Over/Under - Redskins players brush-ins with the law: 1.5
4.) Over/Under - # of High priced free agents brought in by Snyder/Zorn: 1
5.) Do you think it's true that in Zorn contract he has to pick up Dan $nyder's dry-cleaning twice a week?

Your Turn

According to our most recent stats, we have literally TENS of hundreds of readers. and to celebrate our 2000th reader, we want to hear from you, and we have posed a variety of questions for you to consider. We want to know your opinions, and we are willing to pay up to hear them (not actual money mind you). We will offer two prizes: 1) for the best overall response (entertaining, logical, etc.); and 2) for the best reasoned response.
The overall winner gets to post a guest blog on the subject of their choice. The 2nd place winner will be assigned the rebuttal. In the future, prizes will be better, but will always include a chance to post a guest blog. Winners will be determined in the next 2 weeks.

To post your answers and opinions, simply click on the "comments" link at the bottom of this post. You can use a variety of sign-ins, or you can click on "Nickname" and just type in the name you wish to post under.
Don't feel like you have to answer them all. You can pick one and go off on it.

Redskins Draft
What position(s) should the Redskins use their top 2-3 picks on in April's draft?

Will the Redskins receive any compensatory picks for the loss of Sean Taylor? Relief from the salary cap? Should they?

Would you trade the Redskins' #1 pick (#21 overall) for Chad Johnson?

Wiz
Would you trade Gilbert Arenas before the end of this season, and who would you want in return?

Redskins Head Coach
Would you rather have Steve Mariucci come in and add his expertise in molding Jason Campbell, or would you rather have Russ Grimm come in and assume the risk of him either getting fired after one year under the impatient Snyder or turning into a 10+ yr head coach in this town?

Do you believe that Dan Snyder will ever win a Super Bowl?

What one free agent should the Redskins pursue over all others if they had a chance to get just one?

Which town has hotter girls: Baltimore or D.C.?

Will Norv Turner ever win a Super Bowl?

Which is the best NCAA college sports conference and why?

What team (in any sport) has the worst fans?